Feelin’ Different

I was always gonna

feel different

just because

of where I was.

Growin' up in a

predominately white city

more like a town

more like a village

where the crowning 

cultural glory

was a Cathedral.

Feelin' Different

started early on

'cause I was the only

black girl in school,

and I wasn't aware

of bein' a colour

until then.

Feelin' Different

didn't feel good

it felt ugly

and out of place

but because

of the colour

of my face

I was destined

to feel

a kinship

to the history of my race.

Still

I didn't understand

that fact then

I just felt wrong

my hair

my eyes

my skin

didn't fit in

and it didn't match

my Mother's

either.

My Father

served no purpose

in the education

of my culture

or in the role

of a loving man.

Feelin' Different

felt unfair

it felt alone.

Along the way

I found a black friend

and together

together

we would bask in

Feelin' Different

and then

Feelin Different

felt right.

Those moments

would soon pass but

I would savour every

piece of that memory.

Feelin' Different

in time

suddenly became

alluring to the men

who wanted

a brown woman

scared of the word

BLACK.

You're not black

they would croon

as if to say I was

only half

Feelin' Different

and grateful at

bein' relieved of my

Feelin' Black duties.

Feelin' Different

has taken steps towards

Feelin' Proud

Feelin' Good

Feelin' Bad

Feelin' Strong

Feelin' Weak

Feelin'

what I want

'cause Feelin' Different

is just

Feelin' Me

That's

Me Black

Me White

Me Brown

Feelin' Different

Bein'

Feelin'

Me.